Wayne Rooney, Birmingham plasterer.He’s a beer-burger-brothel-bomber – and he likes to shoot in the dark. Das Bild, the German tabloid, on Rooney.Will the owner of a horse attached to a rag-and-bone cart in the visitors’ car park return to his vehicle immediately. PA announcement at Cardiff City v West Ham.I’ll be gutted if I have to watch it on TV Pity I couldn’t be on the bench as a substitute I could go on as Millwall’s back four. Andy Fordham, world darts champion and Millwall fan, before the FA Cup finalMy programme has been moved to accommodate David Beckham and his boyfriends chasing an inflated sheep’s pancreas round some field in Portugal. Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear presenter.England fans will be talking about their 1-0 win for years.
Clive Tyldesley, ITV commentator, shortly before Zinedine Zidane scored twice in France’s 2-1 Euro 2004 victory.The last time the Greeks won a major match they beat the Persians. Gary Lineker, BBC anchorman.I’m keeping it as a great trophy. We were sitting in row Q, so you can imagine how much that shot missed by. Pablo Corral, who caught David Beckham’s missed penalty kick against Portugal.I’m no respecter of tradition and I have no time for the Manchester Uniteds and Arsenals of this world .. There’s nothing to admire in these clubs They’re just bullshit worlds full of bullshit people Football is a bullshit world. Simon Jordan, Crystal Palace chairman.’There is really no upside to being caught dogging’Drugs and KissesI am not hooked on drugs. The only reason I took what I took was because I wanted to improve my sexual performance It may be funny but it is true I did not take cocaine I took something to make me feel good.
Adrian Mutu, sacked by Chelsea after a positive drugs test.They should support him, not throw him out like a rotting tooth. Victor Becali, Mutu’s agent, on Chelsea.I was very surprised, even though I am from Transylvania. Laura Andresan, porn star, alleges that Mutu sucked her blood when she cut her hand during a liaison between the two.His sexual appetite has spiralled out of control .. he’s been drained by unscheduled sex. Jos Suluntay, Chile coach, on dropping his captain Marcelo Salas.This is nonsense. Sven Goran Eriksson, England manager, when asked by the Football Association chairman Geoff Thompson if he had had an affair with a secretary at the FA, Faria Alam.One guy of 96 came in and said he was 72 years sober. I thought, ‘**** me, is this what I have to look forward to?’ Paul Gascoigne, on attending Alcoholics Anonymous.I drugged myself because I was a prisoner of myself, of fame and money.