I don’t know if it worked for him, but it certainly didn’t for me. At school, I was always given nicknames connected with fermented curd What is more, “Cleese” doesn’t sound like anything. People always used to think it was “Crease” or “Cleves” or “Creaves”. Even now, the Americans pronounce it as though it rhymed with “piece”. Cheese would be much better; it’s just that they’d have to go back over all the old films and videos changing it, which would be a bit of a bore.What’s the least funny comedy sketch you’ve ever done?Sarah James, ConwyI did a Python sketch once in which my character was parodying the kind of language they used to use in Exchange & Mart.

The sketch had been written largely by Michael Palin, and the character was a “cheeky chappie” of the kind Michael always did perfectly. But I asked him if I could do it, because it was different from what I usually did. And Michael let me, being such a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very nice chap. And I worked very hard on it in rehearsal, and then performed it on the night to almost complete silence. And I went to Michael after the show and apologised, and he was very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very nice about it.There’s a rash of movie stars coming over from California to grace the London stage at the moment. Are you tempted?Toni Butler, LondonI’m not tempted to grace the London stage, because they’d want a long run, and they’d need lots of publicity, and it would all be a bit of a hassle, and all the critics would remark on how my Claudius or Prospero or Portia was “Fawlty-esque”. However, I am discussing with Pru Scales and her hubby, Timothy West, the possibility of our doing a summer season together somewhere at a repertory theatre, somewhere charming and not too urban.

We’d do a couple of classics, like a Shakespeare and a Chekhov, and a farce. The great pleasure of this, apart from working with old friends, would be rehearsing classic texts and then playing them for only three or four weeks, finishing before we started to get bored. I like this idea, because the only acting I ever really enjoyed and found fascinating was when Jonathan Miller directed me in The Taming of the Shrew for the BBC. You see, working in film and television, the most you ever get in the way of rehearsal is about five days, and you spend all that time learning the damned thing, rather than feeling that you have time to experiment We all think it could be huge fun. However, I’m telling you this in confidence, so please don’t mention it to any friends who produce theatre, or they will start faxing us, explaining that it would be much more fun, really, to do a nine-month run at Wembley Stadium, 12 performances a week, and how about adapting Fawlty Towers for the stage?Who would you most like to squash with the Python foot?Jon Male, by e-mailI would like to squash the Press Complaints Commission. This, you may remember, is the body set up to help to regulate the British press. Now, if it strikes you that the British press at the moment seems slightly unregulated, then you have twigged the drift of my thought Let me assure you that what I am going to say next is true.

Almost exactly half of the PCC are British newspaper editors Now that you’ve stopped laughing, I will ask you this. If you wanted to crack down on organised crime, would you set up a body half of the members of which were the heads of Mafia families? If not, would you consider writing to the chairman of the PCC and pointing out to him why you think the body is not working very well at the moment?Is psychoanalysis the enemy of comedy?Gerald Smith, HatfieldYes, it is the enemy of comedy. It is also the enemy of yogurt, latitudinarianism, high explosives, okapis, metaphors and garden shears. It is also a doughty opponent of movable typesetting and kiwi fruit.