But he would never want to borrow lots of money just to live in a fancy house in Notting Hill I wonder if he was surprised by the Mandelson business “I was. It was something I hadn’t known about until I read it in the newspapers. He says: “I don’t think I’m going to answer that!”Chris Smith is, very much, a Chris Smith He could never be a Sebastian Pontlefoodle He is brilliantly unflashy OK, the odd meal out. What a sex god! He says: “Yes, I expect he is something of a goer.” Actually, he doesn’t. He said he thought Tony Blair was the handsomest, followed by Jack Cunningham I say he’s mad It has to be John Prescott. He once gave a toe-curling interview in which he allowed himself to be drawn into assessing the sexual allure of his fellow Cabinet Ministers. Occasionally we will go out for an expensive meal, but only if we’re treating ourselves.” Which restaurant do you go to? “Oh, various.”He is quite shy, generally, I think, especially of interviewers.

He is wearing a navy suit and black shoes that are possibly Clarks and a modest blue tie “I am bad at choosing clothes. My partner buys all my ties for me, for which I am very grateful. It means I am better dressed than I otherwise would be.” I ask if he’s ever extravagant “I try not to be. There is a Howard Hodgkin splash of colour on one wall, a Craigie Aitchison on the other. I ask Mr Smith if money were no object, and he could buy any painting, what would he buy? “A late Rothko, a late Turner…” Am I to understand from this you’re not a Che Guevara poster from Athena sort of man? He says: “Oh, I’ve had posters from Athena in my time, but not the Che Guevara one.” Oh, so you had the other one? The saucy tennis one? “No!”He is quite a slight man, with short, sheep-coloured, woolly hair and a face which, in profile, is slightly duck-like He looks like some wise and rather sweet farmyard animal. His aide is very un-Cassandra-like, being a big chap in a grey suit with a tape recorder than won’t work “Oh, good,” I say.

“This means I can just go away and make it all up!” He and Mr Smith laugh which, as it turns out, was a rather foolish thing to do. because then I could walk all over our wonderful countryside!” This, I must say, is rather touching in its Pooterish way. I don’t think you could ever accuse Mr Smith of letting his personality get in the way of things.
We actually meet at his office at the Department of Culture, Media and Sport. Mr Smith, before you became interested in politics, did you have another ambition? “I remember for a while I wanted to run a national park…. He has never thought Jeanne Moreau was a man, as his predecessor Stephen Dorrell did Still, I wouldn’t say he was a zingy sort of bloke exactly. “If you’ve got the tea towel, then what’s the point of queuing for six hours? I ask you! Shall we order a couple of Babychams…?” Actually, I’ve just made all this up Chris Smith is not quite this colourful It’s just: I wish

He is a decent bloke, I know And this is good It is admirable, even He’s a Cabinet Minister and he’s nice This is something in itself. He’s also always been openly gay which is also something in itself, especially in politics He is honourable He is enthusiastic He genuinely and passionately cares about people He genuinely and passionately cares about the arts.